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LadyNurse

Dear Doctor:


I often correct people when their behavior is inappropriate, making bad career moves, watching stupid TV shows or saying "where are you at?" instead of "where are you?".


I like to think this makes me a caring person, but lately I've been called "judgmental." Is this true? Is what I'm doing wrong?


Also, I want to point out that you really should have posted Part IV to your 4th Anniversary. What gives?


-- Care Bear

Dear CB:


Part of your problem, I'm guessing, is that you are not saying "no offense ..." when you correct people. This is a very important phrase; it commands the listener to not take offense at what you are saying. It is illegal for someone to be offended by your correction.


The other part of your problem is that you are not embracing the joys of judgmentalism. It's fun to rank yourself superior to others! One of my favorite forms of judging is silent judging (it can be deadly).


Judging is led me to the missing Nurse Chris, by the way...


To make a long story short, I was reprising my usual role judging the 52nd Miss Semi-Beauty Pageant/Triathalon in Kazakhstan. An oddly-shaped contestant arrived on stage, introduced as Lady PhiPhi. Mumbling "Baby I was born this way, baby I'm a firework, so raise you're glass because I'm freaking perfect," she sang such a beautiful ode to the days of the week.



We we we we were all moved to tears, but there was something familiar about this golden-voiced brunette. Turns out Nurse Chris has been living a double life as the nouveau diva Lady PhiPhi, and has decided, for the time being, to continue his career in music and extend his hiatus from my practice. While I'm saddened to be without my business partner of four years, I wish him the best in his endeavors. I also judge him for his insistence on dressing like a woman.


(4th Anniversary: Part IV is delayed till April for our 4 Year, 3 Month, 2 Week, 1 Day Anniversary.)


-- Dr. N
| | Tuesday, March 15, 2011
|


4 comments:

Jessica said...

Oh man, you got me to watch half that video.

Lil' Ried said...

That was beautiful.
It has helped me so much with learning the days of the week. I always though Sunday came after Friday, and Thursday came afterward.
Could NC please compose a song about the other days of the week too?

you won' said...

I want the two minutes I spent watching this back.

considered yourself warned said...

The above was supposed to say you won't fool me again