Doctor Doctor:When I was in Europe, I was told by a Canuck I should put a maple leaf patch on my backpack. He was convinced Europeans hate Americans, and pretending I was Canadian would protect me. I don't like this thinking for two reasons: 1) I like being American, and 2) I don't want to be Canadian. You've been to Europe several times; what's your advice?
-- Undeniably Unitedstatesian
Dear UnUn:
It is a fact that Canadian accents are the most annoying in the universe, so why listen to what this fool? I've never had a problem traveling overseas, and this is because I am not an "ugly American." I am a "very handsome American."
It's not that Europeans hate Americans, it's that they dislike ugly people, so just don't be ugly.
I'd bet fifty Canadian bucks (USD$13) this guy is ugly, as he is from Canada, in which case he is probably hated by Europeans himself.
-- Dr. N
2 comments:
I know what you mean. Canadians are awful.
Canadian bacon? It's a joke; a sick, cruel joke.
Victoria and I often discuss how ridiculous Canadian bacon is. If that's their idea of a good breakfast meat, they can not be taken seriously, and what are they going to do on Easter when they will be forced to call it ham like the rest of us?
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