Jiggly Jello Justifies

Dr. Jello:

Sometimes I get so frustrated with my roommates I want to kill them. I know murder is usually looked down upon, but they're really inconsiderate, irresponsible and idiotic. Also, I heard that a student whose roommate dies gets an automatic A. Considering these factors, what do you recommend?

-- Fed Up Grad Student

Dear Fed Up:

If you're hesitating about killing them to get an A, that's a problem right there. Roommates can be annoying sometimes, and a loving doctor would tell you to forgive them and try to work out a long lasting relationship. Unfortunately, I am not one of those doctors. If you really think killing them is wrong, you could always pay some one to do that for you. And if you really don't feel like spending the money, try selling them to the gypsies. Tell everyone that they died in some stupid, unbelievable, you-have-to-be-there-to-believe-it accident (you'd be surprised what people will believe) to avoid suspicion over their disappearance. They may be in misery, but you avoid getting blood on your hands. Plus, selling them means you now have money to use on killing future roommates.

-- Dr. Jello