Cool Cruise or Cold Cuts

Dr. Nello:

Congratulations! You've been identified to receive a FREE Two Night Carribean Cruise for two adults! As our guest, you'll cruise round-trip on the Regal Empress from sunny Ft. Lauderdale, FL, to Nassau in the tropical Bahamas. Your introductory "Fam-Trip" cruise includes a private cabin, all meals and entertainment.

"Fam-Trip" is travel industry jargon for a "Familiarization Trip" which is a free or highly discounted vacation package that most Travel Agents receive as a perk to "familiarize" themselves with fine Resorts and Cruise Ships like ours. We believe you're just as qualified as a travel agent to experience our "familiarization" tours.

Please call; no purchase necessary, no strings attached!

-- Imperial Majesty Cruise Line Vacations

Dear IMCLV:

On the one hand, a free trip to the Bahamas sounds exhilirating. I've wanted to travel there ever since I was supposed to go in 2000 but had to cancel to go to my stupid brother's wedding. (Is it my brother that's stupid, or was the wedding stupid? Maybe both.) And I am not one to easily pass up free food.

Howe'er, I currently have plans to head overseas to Genoa, Italy. I'm attending "InPsyBloCon '09." That's short for "Internatioal Psychaitrist Blogger Convention 2009", where we doctors "psychaitrize" and "blog" like travel agents "familiarize." I'm also stocking up on salami.

(Thank you for explaining the term "Fam-Trip." I thought at first the "Fam" stood for "family," and I thought there was no way in Gahhenoa I was taking them with me.)

This is a tough decision to make; the Bahamas will definitely be warmer, but I've never missed an InPsyBloCon. I think I'll google your service to make sure it's not a scam, and then get back to you.

-- Dr. N

Qreepy Questions

Hello:

Bonus is our middle name, or is it F.E.A.R?

Are they in your closet?
When we will meet again?
See you later.

-- Jodie

Dear Jodie:

I'm trembling so much tonight I will have Nurse Chris syndrome, but at the same time, the puzzling ponderings you pose are so provoking I am persuaded to post.

First off, I'm guessing your middle name is F.E.A.R., and that it stands for "Frighteningly Eerie And Repulsive."

In my closet are a vacuum, ironing board, and clothes; if that is what you mean by "they," then yes. If you are referring to monsters, then I sure hope not.

I have now come to the conclusion that you are the doubleheaded monster in my closet named Jodie F.E.A.R. Teratism, and you want me to meet you so you can kill me. We can never meet again. I'm sorry.

-- Dr N.

PS. Monster or not, make sure you check out our anniversary music video if you haven't already! Even if you have, check it out again!

Two Year Anniversary Dance Lesson

Two years! Celebrate with us by watching this awesome music video/letter-and-response.

Can you count all the new things on the blog? (Hint: check the top of the page ... actually, that's about it.)

Also ... this is the 91st letter. Which means, of course, only nine more letters till the HUNDREDTH LETTER.

731 DAYS

Tuesday marks the second anniversary of this blog. Dr. Nello and Nurse Chris have gone through quite a lot to get to where they are now: movies, music, books, firings, hirings, murders, strikes, bailouts, coming outs, fluctuating reader counts, fluctuating weights, weight loss iTunes programs, and medicinal superpowers. There was that short lived, who-knows-what-it-was-supposed-to-be n08. We began our campaign for president, we were animated once, and (as we accidentally leaked on New Years) we're going to do it again Tuesday.

So what will 2009 hold for us? Dr. Nello hopes to turn 24, after which he will constantly remind everyone that 4/25/2010 is his golden birthday and he expects the party of the century. Nurse Chris hopes to get his Chickipedia page reinstated before he heads off to Europe this fall.