Clearing Coffee, Pt. 2

Nurse Kris:

My mom is always clearing my coffee cups, and most of the time they're still half full. She's obsessive about putting my mugs in the dishwasher, she will even go so far as to take a cup I drinking out of my hands. Her behavior is out of control and I'm thinking that the only solutions are to move out (at the early age of 23) or to put her in a home (whose home exactly I don't know, maybe the neighbors?). Please weigh in with your thoughts.

-- Maxwell House

Dear Mad Max:

Sounds like your mother is what we call a Mother Always Ridding Your Cups Away Viciously In Numbers, often called a MARYCLAVIN. This disorder is common in middle aged women looking half their age who have had 10 or more children. They get so accustomed to clearing cups and dishes while their family is growing, that when their children are old enough to clear things on their own, they clear every cup in sight to compensate for the work they are used to.

Fortunately there are solutions to your problem. First you could move out like you suggested, but then you would have to buy your own food. While this may mean your soft tacos will be large and plentiful on taco night, overall it's not a plus.

You could also stop drinking, but that's probably not healthy, so I would suggest acquiring what I like to call, an "evermug." An evermug is simply a coffee mug that you super glue to your hand so no one will ever be able to clear it again! However, you will lose most of the use in whichever hand you glue the mug to.

So in the end I would most strongly support counseling. Hopefully you will be able to understand your mother's problem and learn to deal with having to grab a new mug every now and then. God speed.

-- Da N