It's Not Just Your Voice

Dear Nurse Chris:

My voice is very annoying and people don't like to listen to it. Also, I don't tell good stories or funny jokes and yet I always feel the need tell a lot of them when I'm in a crowd. My psychaitrist suggested not talking at all but that didn't help; my mouth is too big and words inevitably escape. I am considering either getting voice lessons or gluing my mouth shut. What do you recommend?

-- Cat Should Have My Tongue

P.S. I hope your test went well! Was it enjoyable?

Dear Chubby & Ugly:

My advice is this, always carry some celery with you. Every time you have the urge to speak just shove some in. Plus, chewing celery can help you lose some much un-needed pounds.

Gender test are always a pain.

-- Nurse Chris