i x i

D-Nell:

What is i squared? +1 or -1?

The worst part about this is that I am asking so I can teach my student! Pray for him. And me.

-- Roots in Rochester

Dear Chester:

I² is when we say something like "I myself" or "me me me, my my my, now now now." It is modern-day shorthand expression that stresses the importance of oneself. It is especially use to show relation to others, such as i² >> u = "I am so much greater than you." This type of notation is most often found on the internet and textual transmissions. It is prevalent among web/phone-enthusiasts like teenagers and, unfortunately, Facebook moms (EPIC FAILS).

Chances are your student, therefore, is already familiar with this term, and there shouldn't be a need for you to teach him. As for whether it is a positive or a negative expression, let's try a thought expiriment: If I hold myself high importance, then i² must give me a positive feeling. If I view myself lowly, then I do not find much importance in myself, and i² does not exist. But, as I am thinking, "I think, therefore, i²," so we have a contradiction. The only way for i² to exist is for it to be positive (+1).

Unless, of course, you are referring to the imaginary number i = √-1, in which case i² = -1, but let's get real.

-- Dr. N