Put Thief In Jail

Dr. Nello and Nurse Chris:

My father often steals grapes from the grocery store. Not bags or bunches, but a sample snacker or two. This practice is both unsanitary and unethical, is it not?

I would estimate that through the years he has consumed about 800-1000 grapes that he has not paid for, and although in his mind he views this activity akin to squeezing a melon for ripeness, I can't believe that the grocer or the magistrate would agree.

What are my moral and civil obligations in this regard? Also, I recall hearing once that you can get paid to make a citizen's arrest ($200 or so); do you know if this is true?

-- Distraught in Dixie

Dear Dixie:

Bless you for your honestly. It's not easy to admit your parents are criminals, which your father certainly is. 800-1000 grapes is not just petty larceny, it's grand theft. It seems like your dad doesn't understand the magnitude of his crimes. He may very well put the grocery store out of business if he isn't stopped soon. He also may be spreading diseases to other innocent customers.

As for making a citizen's arrest, all states except North Carolina pay varrying amounts for your good deeds. Be warned though, if you feel your father is a dangerous man, I strongly recommend that you let the police handle him.

If you don't feel like you can have your own father arrested, I suggest counseling to help you sort out your feelings.

-- Nurse Chris