Past, Present ... and Future?

Dear Doctor Nello:

As I rapidly approach my twenty-third-and-a-half birthday, I look back at my life and think of all the things I still haven't done. I haven't earned a million dollars, I haven't invented edible shoes, I haven't jet-skied on Mars ... the list goes on. What's worse, though, is that I am columnist and lately haven't felt inspired to write anything. Why, it's probably been over a month since I last posted an article. What should I do?

-- Almost 23.5

Dear A23.5:

I, too, sometimes look at my life and realize that there is so much I have yet to accomplish. Actually ... that never happens. But we do share in common our occasional lack of enthusiasm when it comes to posting. As a matter of fact, it's been almost two months since I've posted on this blog, clearly violating my unwritten rule of always posting at least one letter per month.

But you wouldn't have known that unless I told you, because I have used a time machine. That's right, even though this email says August 21 it was actually written September 15! Oh, the wonders of modern technology.

Time machines are suprisingly available almost anywhere ... eBay, Target and even some 7-Elevens. They aren't cheap, though, so you'll have to steal a lot of money first. When you get one, though, you'll find you now have plenty of time to finish all those tasks on your list.

One warning though ... your lack of motivation could lead to a slow demise of your once grand website and your faithful patron list will trickle down to just that one crazy woman who claims to be your mom. Even a time machine can't fix that. It's probably time to adopt a new strategy, maybe you should try a vlog to spice things up?

-- Dr. N