Nurse Chris:I recently won what I considered to be a "major award" but it seems as if nobody else cares. I waited and waited for family and friends to either a.) call and congratulate me, or b.) show up as they said they would to the ceremony, but neither happened.
My concern is that I move forward in my life and continue down a path of increased academic specialization that I am learning more and more about less and less, and eventually I will know everything about nothing.
What advice would you give me? I would appreciate it greatly if any insights you have and/or recommendations you will make could be expressed in a mathematical expression or formula, for that is how I prefer to communicate with other people.
-- Learned, Lanky and Lonely
Dear Lonely:
I'm sorry to tell you this, but responding to your letter in an equation would only worsen your condition. I can tell from the way you type that you are the tallest person in your family by at least a quarter of a man, and this makes you uncomfortable around other people, mostly because you have to bend over to communicate with them. Without realizing it, you have completely separated yourself from the rest of mankind and turned to numbers to find friends.
That is why nobody seemed to notice after you won your award. People are so used to your solitude that while they may have told you they would come to the ceremony, they figured you wouldn't even notice their absence. A second possibility is that years ago, family members used to offer you "treats" but you ignored them and this is their way of getting back at you.
About your problem of learning everything about nothing, I have good and bad news. The good news is that you have realized you have a problem, the bad news is, you are so far gone, it will be hard for you to get back on track. They say knowledge is power, but in reality, knowledge can ruin your life. People become absorbed with learning, and soon enough learn the basics of everything that is important. So they decide to specialize, learning more and more. But how in depth can you go on one subject? Specialized education is a slippery slope, and as you learn more about nothing, you begin to forget the important things in life, and become lonely.
Your condition cannot be reversed naturally, so I suggest counseling to help get your life back on track.
-- Nurse Chris
1 comments:
This is so very sad and could only be made worse if something else happens to steal your thunder, i.e. your sisters have babies and everybody thinks they're so cute and forget all about you. Or, and this is a one in a billion chance - one of these babies becomes very ill and ends up in a hospital in your very own town and everyone is so concerned that even though they now come to visit your town, something considered impossible when you received your award, they are rightfully so concerned about the poor child that they not only forget about your award, which they don't ask to see, they might even promise a restaurant dinner and end up taking you out for fast food to be eaten in your own apartment. This was involved, but I hope you were able to follow me. Some say the Irish believe it is good fortune to be the seventh son, or by extrapolation good to be the seventh child and a son. However, you seem to be out to negate this theory and if you find the fourth root of that and take it to its limit and then derivate the integral that should bring you back to your original hypothesis and zero still means nothing. Does this help? However, if you had been engaged to a young woman from town your parents would have come to see you receive your award using it as an excuse to meet your future in-laws. Too bad you didn't think of that first.
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