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Finger in the Lawn

Nurse Chris:

Recently I injured myself in a rather embarrassing manner. I have an important interview coming up, and there's no way I can hide it, and I'm sure I'm going to be asked about it. Should I tell the truth about how it happened, sigh "long story" and not give any more details, or make up a heroic tale in which I got hurt saving someone's life? I'm sure you had similar experiences when you tried out for the NBA after accidentally cooking your leg.

-- Wearing a Giant Fake Finger in Oxford, NY

Dear Ox Sized Finger:

You're going to have to lie your way out of this one. Luckily for you, studies have shown that 91.7% of people in the US (96.4% in Canada!) pick their nose (even if they deny it), and 54% of those people have injured themselves in a picking accident. What you need to do when you are asked about it is say something along the lines of, "Well to be honest, I was picking my nose really hard, my nail got caught and ripped right off." Chances are your employers are nose pickers and will sympathize with you. I wouldn't be surprised if they open up and tell you their own nose picking injury stories! Plus, they will appreciate having an honest employee who isn't afraid to tell them things.

An alternative to the above suggestion is to make up a story in which you performed some heroic action like you said, such as saving children from a burning orphanage and while you were running through the building, a support beam fell on your hand. If your employer is an environmentalist you could say that you were feeding birds organic bird food and one bird started eating your finger and you couldn't shoo it away because you didn't want to hurt the beautiful creature. Once again your employers will appreciate an employee like you.

Yes I have had similar problems since burning my leg when I was hungry, but I've learned to try not to look at my injuries as obstacles to getting hired, but rather use them as a poles and vault myself into a high level position! Look where I am now, a nurse on a hugely popular advice site! However, if you can't do this, I suggest counseling to help you cope with the emotional stress of never getting a good job due to stupidity beyond that of your youngest brother's.

-- the NURSE
| 1 comments | Wednesday, June 25, 2008
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