Clear Some Spacement in the Basement

Nurse Chris:

My mother, God bless her in her very old age, has a habit of either shortening words (like "puter" for "computer"), changing the letters of words ("spacement" for "basement") or altogether making up new ones ("boyhead"). She'll often assign chores in this manner ("Get off the puter and clean the spacement, boyhead!"). She makes herself laugh, but not many others. How can I deal with this, short of just ignoring her?

-- Handsome Devil, USA

Dear Devil:

Sounds like your mother is a very funny person! But obviously, not everyone can take this kind of humor. You say ignoring her doesn't work, so I think you should try the opposite. Just play along with her. Next time she says, "Get off the puter and clean the spacement, boyhead!" simply reply, "Momboy, I will puterize all I want, go get one of the catheads to clean the spacement."

Another option is having your mother attend WWA (Weird Words Anonymous). If that still doesn't work, I suggest counseling for both of you. If your mother refuses, go alone; at least your counselor will be able to help you with your emotional pain.

-- Nurse Chris