Helpful Haikus

Dear Lady PhiPhi:


My Happy Hour last night turned unhappy when my friends put me to be in charge of organizing a group trip to a place of ill moral repute. I suppose I might be willing to compromise my principles if they wanted this event on a Saturday, but they're looking to go on Tuesday night. What should I do?


-- Sad Sir at a Mad Mex

Sad Sir:


Why are you upset?
Morals are overratted
But here's some advice.


Instead of the club
Lead them to the library
A quite clever trick!


Claim an allergy
To smut and stupidity
If you are too weak.


This problem, your friends
There can be one solution:
Kiss them or kill them.


-- Lady PhiPhi