What's Up, Doc?

Doctor Nello:

You fired Nurse Chris ... why? What will become of your blog now? What will become of your movie/book/music deals? Are you hiring?

-- Akon Serndreeder

Dear Akon:

I am quite aware April Fool's is only on April 1st. It is Nurse Chris who is the fool!

Nurse Chris's inbox was overflowing with unanswered letters, and I needed Nurse Chris to answer these before I could post any myself. I repeatedly sent Nurse Chris memos, warnings and email forwards, but nothing seemed to work. Nurse Chris had to be let go.

The blog will still be the same extremely helpful advice column it's always been. I might someday get around to removing all the images of Nurse Chris scattered throughout this page, but that requires a lot of photoshop editing, which is not a top priority to me right now.

"Naked Death 8" will still be released, but the future of our autobiographictional movie is unclear. My attorneys, Nurse Chris and I are working on the book: we might split it into two separate books or bump up the release date. As for music, we were going to reveal information about our new band, but I am too frustrated right now to even think about how great N'n'N would have been.

I am actually looking for a new assistant (blogging is a lot of work!), and I'm going to post my specifications shortly. I can tell you this, though: I will not be hiring any mothers or gender-confused individuals.

-- Dr. N